Within the OU and its departments, we are focusing meaningful effort on considering and addressing the issue of sinat chinam, providing both food for thought and practical action points that can help us begin to demonstrate care for each other and ameliorate our nation’s divisions by adjusting both our thinking and actions. We invite you into this process in the hope that you may find it meaningful and helpful, add your own energies to this effort, and be in touch to contribute your own thoughts and ideas. Thank you to all who have already shared their thoughts and ideas.
We began by pulling out our ear pods to try to notice those around us a bit more, went further to provide someone with a sense of “imach” by taking a bit of time to check in, and then moved towards building mutually appreciated relationship with others who may not have it elsewhere, inviting them into our homes or reaching out into theirs.
How should a Jew prepare for Rosh Hashana and the Yamim Noraim? The Alter of Kelm, one of the great Mussar masters, had a simple and surprising approach: focus on v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha, work on loving others more.
He returned to this theme year after year, undertaking personally and along with his students to recall at every time of prayer the mitzvah to love others. In this, he was faithful to the custom instituted by the great Kabbalist, Rav Yitzchak Luria, and followed by many hasidim and others, to declare before every prayer: “Hareini m’kabeil alai mitzvat as’eh shel v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha. I accept upon myself the mitzvah to love my fellow man as myself.” The Sefardic version of this declaration is even more exquisite, adding a declaration of actual love for every Jew k’nafshi u’me’odi.
The idea is both beautiful and puzzling. How does expressing our commitment to other people – bein adam la‘chaveiro – fit the intense religious moment of prayer bein adam la’Makom?
Notice however that the original Jewish prayer recorded in the Torah was offered by Avraham on behalf of the people of Sodom. Avraham did not resort to prayer in search of mystical or spiritual communion. He approached God out of a deep concern for his fellow man. Sodom was in trouble, its future was threatened, and Avraham stepped forward to plead with God on their behalf. That is evidently what prayer is supposed to look like. We approach God with others in mind. And, as the Alter of Kelm himself explained, when we approach God with Klal Yisrael in mind, we stand before Him empowered by the history and the destiny of our nation.
This practice of beginning davening with that commitment to our fellow Jews has not previously been part of my routine, but I intend to do it now as the next step on working on sinat chinam. Davening can easily be an experience of turning inward or looking upward while focusing on our own needs, but when we bring the Klal into those prayers it makes us bigger. When making that commitment to love my fellow Jews, I will try to think of a specific part of my community or of the Jewish people that I do not strongly identify with for ideological, religious, cultural, or any other reasons. I hope in that way to stand before Hashem not as an individual but as part of the unbreakable and ultimately indivisible Jewish people.
Every day of the year, most of our prayers focus on the overwhelming need for a better world. Particularly on Rosh Hashana, the Alter of Kelm would remind his students via a note he would hang on the door of the beis hamedrash that our main request of God is that He build His kingdom and bring us all together in His service. We can only sincerely make that request when we ourselves come together, when we stand with our fellow Jews in love and commitment, prioritizing the unity of our people and of the kingdom of God for which we pray.
Hareini m’kabeil alai mitzvat as’eh shel v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha.
Please use this LINK to download printable Hebrew and English versions of the Alter of Kelm’s Yamim Noraim note to his students emphasizing the critical importance of unity and ahavat Yisrael. Please print and post it where you and others can be reminded of its precious message.