As we move into the new school year, it can get a bit tricky getting back into a routine with our children. Here are some ideas on how to help our kids transition smoothly while helping us maintain an even keel:
Instead of “ Get out of bed right now!”
- Give children choices:
“Do you want to get out of bed in five minutes or 10 minutes?”
- Problem-solve with them:
“It seems that we are having trouble with our morning routine. I feel like I am yelling a lot and we are always rushed to get to the bus. Do you have some ideas on how we can have calmer mornings?
- Give information:
“ Morning time, breakfast will be served in a half hour. Can’t wait to see you there!”
- Focus on the positive:
“Hey, I think I see one eye open, and there is a foot over the side of the bed—looks like you have a good start on getting out of bed!”
Instead of “ How many times did I tell you to brush your teeth!”
- Give children choices:
“Do you want the Barney or the Barbie toothpaste?”
- Problem-solve with them:
“You seem to be having some trouble remembering to brush your teeth. What ideas can we come up with so that it is easier for you?”
- Give information:
“The dentist’s rule is teeth need to be brushed in the morning and at night.”
- Use humor:
“Hey germs in there, you don’t stand a chance! Mikey and I are going in right now after you!”
Parents have found that using these tactics helps kids listen, cooperate and settle back into their schedule. There’s an added bonus in that we, as parents, are calmer when we’re yelling less. Respectful communication techniques like the ones outlined above are sure to bring more peace to your home.
References:
Faber, Adele and Elaine Mazlish. How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, Avon Books, 1980
The words of this author reflect his/her own opinions and do not necessarily represent the official position of the Orthodox Union.