At first glance, the wise son in the Haggadah sounds a lot like the wicked son.
The wicked son asks:
מָה הָעֲבוֹדָה הַזֹּאת לָכֶם?
“What is this service to you?”
He separates himself from the community — and from the tradition.
But then the wise son says:
מָה הָעֵדוֹת וְהַחֻקִּים וְהַמִּשְׁפָּטִים אֲשֶׁר צִוָּה ה’ אֱלֹקֵינוּ אֶתְכֶם?
“What are the testimonies, statutes, and laws that Hashem our G-d commanded you?”
He also says “you”, not “us.” So what’s the difference?
The Netziv offers a beautiful insight. In Parshat Matot, Elazar the Kohen relays the laws of Kashrut to the Jewish people and says:
“זֹאת חֻקַּת הַתּוֹרָה אֲשֶׁר צִוָּה ה’ אֶת מֹשֶׁה“
The Netziv explains: “Et Moshe” doesn’t mean to Moshe — it means through Moshe.
Even as High Priest, Elazar knew that he was conduit relaying the Torah that had been initially given to Moshe
That’s the depth of the wise son’s question.
He’s not excluding himself — he’s recognizing that Torah comes through his mother and father.
That is wisdom.
As it says in Ethics of our Father
איזה הוא חכם הלומד מכל אדם
Who is the wise person? Someone who he learns from all people
But what if we’re not great scholars?
What if we don’t know how to learn or explain?
Can we still be that link?
Yes.
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks told a story about his father, Louis Sacks, a simple Jewish man from London’s East End.
He had no formal Jewish education, but when young Jonathan asked hard questions, he said:
“I don’t know the answers. But one day, you’ll learn what I couldn’t — and then you’ll teach me.”
Louis Sacks wasn’t able to teach complex ideas and novel insights of Torah.
He taught love, validation, and faith.
Faith in his son, in Torah, and (lehavdil) G-d Almighty
And that was enough.
Because being part of the Mesorah doesn’t require being perfect.
That’s what the wise child sees — and that’s what every one of us can pass on.
