Adapted by Channie Koplowitz Stein
The month of Elul is meant to start us on a path that will end at Shimini Atzeret. However, the question remains, what are we trying to achieve? Rabbi Pincus zt”l begins our discussion by citing the Prophet Elisha who says, “This is not the road, neither is it the town.” Rabbi Pincus zt”l explains that the road that begins with Chodesh Elul is a long road with many markers. We start with the shofar blast, we recite special prayers and Selichot, we increase our Torah learning and mitzvah observance. We focus on self improvement during the aseret yemmei teshuvah, and we celebrate several special holidays. But what is the “town” we are trying to reach? If we do not know know our goal, we will continue to wander aimlessly.
This awe filled season, this path, culminates in Simchat Torah. At that endpoint, we begin the hakafot with the declaration, “…Hashem Hu haElokhim, Ein od milvado — in order to know that Hashem is God/Elokhim: there is nothing beside Him.” This is the goal., to know Hashem intimately, to know that God, in all His manifestations, is the One God, and to have a deep connection with Him, to actualize אני לדודי ודודי לי /I belong to my Beloved and my Beloved is mine. But this exalted goal needs systematic steps toward achievement. These days are meant to create and strengthen our attachment to Hakodosh Boruch Hu, to make Him part of our lives.
In The Six Constant Mitzvos. Rabbi Berkowitz provides a starting point for our journey. We must begin by internalizing the idea that Hashem is One, that even though we perceive a duality of good and evil, both are part of the One, whether it is the Force external to ourselves, governing the world, or the dual forces of good and evil that seem to be constantly vying within ourselves. Are we willing to forgo the lure of instant gratification, a force we will call the yetzer horo, for the greater good, and earn greater pleasures of olam haba? Then we can understand that our struggle with the yetzer horo is not a struggle against evil, but rather the work we need to do, to grow, to get closer to Hashem, and to earn those rewards with a sense of accomplishment and pride.
If we are faced with obstacles when we want to perform a mitzvah, we must acknowledge that that obstacle also comes from Hashem and is meant to help us grow. When we internalize the Yichud Hashem, the Oneness of Hashem, we can accept that we tried to perform a mitzvah to the best of our ability, but Hashem has prevented us. When we do not use it as an excuse but accept the physiological condition as part of Hashem, that acceptance itself is growth.
That realization teaches us that our plans must be flexible. We may plan to study Torah from 9:00 to 10:00, but if Hashem has other plans for us for that hour [a child needs our help, we were delayed in traffic, etc. CKS] we need to be able to adjust. We must also understand that our spiritual growth and closeness to Hashem can be achieved in many channels that Hashem sends our way. Family, communal responsibilities may conflict with time for Torah study, but they should not be discounted, for they too are sent by Hashem to enable our growth. The two possible courses of action are not competing. We must find which is the path Hashem wants us to do at the moment, we must establish a balance, for Hashem has sent us that challenge.
Rabbi Berkowitz makes one major point here. Every action in our lives, from the completely physical like sleeping or eating, can still be elevated to serving Hashem, for without sleep or without food, we have no strength to serve Hashem in the spiritual realm. My thought should be that I am doing XYZ to serve Hashem better, to keep me strong, to help care for His [our] children, to provide for others. Everything we do can be reframed as service to Hashem.
Every morning we begin our path with this goal in mind. And the very first words we say upon arising keeps the daily path focused on the goal, writes Rabbi Pincus zt”l. Although we translate those words beginning with “I”, modeh ani, we actually begin with מודה, gratitude, rather than with the egotism of אני, I. We acknowledge and admit that all I am and all I have comes from Hashem. Only after this acknowledgment, do I insert myself, for I stand before Hashem, לפניך, in my personal uniqueness, before the eternal King, knowing that He is always watching, knowing that He is orchestrating every moment and every challenge of the day for my benefit and growth.
It is this same awareness of standing in Hashem’s presence that permeates the entire viduy prayer so integral to the teshuvah process. It is not so much the transgression of a particular sin, writes the Netivot Shalom, but that we ignored being לפניך, we disobeyed Hashem in Whose presence we stand.
The first step in teshuvah, writes Rabbi Neiman zt”l in Darchei Mussar, is to realize that we are standing before Hashem, we are approaching, שובו עד, and only then can we specify the particular sin we have transgressed, שובה אל.
Every mitzvah and every aveirah has two components, explains Rabbi Bernstein, and each element requires rectification. First, we have sinned against God. But we have also damaged our soul. If we keep ourselves aware of Hashem’s presence, we would not come to sin. Rabbi Bernstein suggests that performing a mitzvah without the awareness of Hashem’s presence does not bring us closer to Hashem and therefore fails in its purpose.
Teshuvah [and mitzvah observance] should create a connection with Hashem, facing Him. Otherwise, we could be going through the actions but ignoring His presence, as if we have emotionally turned our backs on Him. Our relationship with Hashem should be personal. As the Kotsker Rebbe zt”l so pithily translates the verse in Tehillim, “לא יהיה לך ק-ל זר/Let God not be a stranger among you.”
We may be tempted to observe mitzvoth through multitasking. That is a mistake, explains Rabbi Bernstein, for only by giving a mitzvah our full attention can we experience it and develop the emotional and spiritual connection with Hakodosh Boruch Hu it is meant to inspire. Live in the moment of the mitzvah.
How can we develop this mindfulness? It requires laser focus and attention — This is the only page in the book; I am the only person in this room; This is the only opportunity I will have, teaches Rabbi Shaya Ostrov.
But the only way to get there, teaches Rabbi Weissblum in Heorat Derech, is through mental preparation and planning. Before davening, make sure you are physically ready to approach God. Then gather your thoughts, set your mind or recite that, “I am now ready and prepared to [do this mitzvah…].” Don’t just “fall” into the mitzvah; approach it with intent, not as something to be checked off a to do list. With the proper mindset, I am opening myself up to being a utensil that can receive the shechinah. As Rabbi Meislisch says so beautifully, when we daven with proper intent, the shechinah repeats each word we utter.
At the heart of all our prayers and all our mitzvah observance should be emunah, full faith that we are always in Hashem’s hand. That is why, writes Rabbi Gamliel Rabinowitz in Tiv Hatorah, that we begin our day with מודה אני … רבה אמונתך, gratitude… abundant is Your faithfulness, and we conclude our prayers with Aleinu, and the declaration within it of הוא אלקינו אין עוד/He is our God, there is no other.
In this month of Elul, let us begin our journey on the path with the goal of building our relationship with Hakodosh Boruch Hu, with feeling ourselves always in His presence, always acting with that mindset, and thereby earning the rewards of a blessed year.
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